Choose to be more Squirrel

Before writing a blog I consider why I’m doing it; what use is what I have to say to anyone? For this open letter I’m hoping to illustrate an analogy that can change your life in the way it has mine.

I first started having reflexology treatments with Lynn Butler in 2017, I sought her out because she specialises in fertility grief and loss. My treatments with Lynn were nothing short of magic; I’d look forward to climbing the stairs to the sanctuary of Sharrow Head House where Lynn would always be there with the most warming smile (and towels). As part of each appointment, I shared with Lynn what was going on in life and she was able to tailor her ‘hands on’ treatment accordingly. Therefore, it became very easy to chew the fat about the highs, lows, and what ifs all from the comfort of the couch before submerging under a weighted blanket and enjoying a foot massage like no other. It’s an insult to call it a foot massage because it’s so much more than that.

Towards the end of that year, I became single for the first time in nine years and my grief and loss exploded. I don’t want to dwell, we’ve all experienced some sort of heartbreak, it’s horrid. I had never felt such sadness, I was now grieving more than the initial loss that I asked for Lynn’s help with, and I didn’t know where to get the strength to get beyond it. Being most comfortable planning and managing (control OCD), this was a place I didn’t feel at ease. I went to my next appointment hoping for help, I had a total trauma dump, and it was at this time that Lynn told me the analogy of a squirrel on a trampoline. This is how I remember it.

A squirrel can bounce along a trampoline making evenly spaced jumps reaching the same height each time, or the squirrel can be brave and make bounces that plunge it into to the dirt before catapulting it to dizzying heights. We talked about how this applies to life; we can choose to be courageous and look forward to following dark, gritty uncomfortable sadness with a great rise to excitement and happiness. Afterwards I had this picture in my mind that I was in the sludge, but it wouldn’t be forever. It would just be temporary and that was ok, it was exciting to know that something would change one day, perhaps even a surprise, and I’d be on my way back up. So, I sat with that and started getting stronger physically and mentally, I finished my postgraduate degree in dyslexia, coached by friends I increased my tolerance of alcohol, decided I would sell my house and met Lee on a date at Kwik Fit, (I was trying to put him off and be inconvenient and he was having none of it), which lead to a Sunday dinner, but this isn’t a love story. It’s a story of how when you need something to help you out of the dark, you can think like a squirrel.

I’m still choosing to be more squirrel because life continues to take turns that can at times mean a dip in a downward direction; living in a renovation site, getting made redundant, a global pandemic and having a time of bad health. The cocktail of all of those at the start of 2020 of course sent my inner squirrel for a mud bath and one leap of excitement out of there was a creative spark in my imagination. We’re always changing, we’re not the same people we were last week, last month or last year and I discovered interior design made me so happy that I wanted (and still want) to do more of it. I was creating a disabled friendly home for myself on Chestnut Close, a home that would help me live a better life and anyone who lived there after me (I didn’t realise how soon that would be), and if I can continue to help other people make changes to live a happier life in their home then that would be a place of euphoria! That is why Chestnut Interiors came along, thankfully I had a few friends kindly nudging me in that direction too. If you’ve read my previous blogs, they will have a different sense of story now.

Since moving into our new house in Cornwall on Christmas Eve I have seen at least one squirrel a day, there to remind me to keep being brave and taking every up and down as it comes. I could add in some puns about nuts, but I want to keep it clean and dedicate this blog to the truly inspiring and captivating Lynn Butler who’s aim is to positively affect change; it’s a joy to be a further cog in the vehicle that strives to do that. Thank you, Lynn, you are a very special soul. Take care, Charlotte

You can follow Lynn @hellolynnbutler and I’d highly recommend signing up to her newsletter.